Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Today was a tender Mercy

I went to bed last night counting all the sheep telling me "tomaaarow is going to be a baaaaad day." There was just so much on my list today and I just knew it would be a day I would let the world down. I really feel like God took mercy on me, somehow everything got done. I honestly don't know how, today was a reaffirmation to me that Heavenly Father knows me and he won't ask more than I can do. It was a wonderful Sunday, I am so grateful to have this day every week to take the sacrament and spend time with my family and God. Even as lately Sundays are my busiest days, they are still my most relaxing- I really feel the Sabbath is a day our spirits recognize as our Lord's day. Today I am grateful for Sundays, God's love, Bishop Stone, having a little girl to wear my old dress, holding hands with John at church and friends who reach out to me and really care.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Growing up too Fast....

Is it just me or Caity not a baby any more?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A couple new adventures...

(Caity outside the Truck John drives for work)

(next to the tire...she doesn't stand a chance)

(Caity and John before Caity's first driving lesson...oh grief.)

Adventure number 1
Our car.....dead. Yes, poor fellow experienced enough of us-Brassells, and choked just outside of McCammon, Idaho on our way down to Ogden. Special thanks to Mr. Police Officer who pushed us bumper to bumper a quarter mile to the gas station. Another special thanks to Mr. Off-his-mission-3-weeks, Jason who hitched us a ride the remaining two hours to Pleasant View- with Brittany in the front seat mind you- poor guy didn't know what to do with himself! And last but not least a very special thanks to our cousin, Jon Barker for selling us his truck for practically nothing! Oh not to forget a thanks to Mr. Towrope for not breaking as John pulled me and Brittany the whole way in the Honda. The engine is shot in our car, so looks like I am going to become a pro at stick. Of course John has something up his sleeve to get the engine fixed. (He always does.) But what a fun experience that definitely kept us on our toes!

Adventure number 2
This one was self inflicted- of course. So with us driving a truck home to Rexburg, John asked his parents to borrow the 4 wheeler his used to ride a child. We currently have a 3-wheeler we got for a great deal on Bulletin Board (soon to be traded for a new engine for Honda.) Now john will be able to fulfill his "lifelong dream" (no kidding) to take his wife four (and 3) wheeling in the mountains, side by side- he's so romantic.
So upon seeing the beautiful weather yesterday I suggested we walk to the park and play- but why enjoy the nice weather when we can drive out to the mountains and get stuck in the snow? And why would Caity want to take a nap when she can risk getting shaking baby syndrome on the back of a 3-wheeler? Silly me...what was I thinking, suggesting to go to the park?
So we took the wheelers up past the temple for some quality time off roading. We had a pretty good time and I held my own (it was my first time going wheeling john-style- aka suicidal off roading.) But then we ran into snow....
Wife: John, this snow is like 2 feet deep if it is hard getting through down hill it will be impossible going up hill.
Husband: No, its not bad...lets just go a little further and then we will turn around.
Wife: I really don't think---
Husband: It's fine Mary, I have done worst before.

We made it through with only having to push once. But then we ran into more snow.
Wife: John- this snow is like 3 feet deep. If it is hard getting through down hill it will be impossible going up hill.
(you know the conversation from here.) I tell him I don't like being out of control, he tells me that is the funnest part....ok.
Well, two snow trails later we turn around and spend the afternoon pushing our wheelers through the snow, covered in mud and exhausted. Poor Caity was so tired she just cried saying, "night night, please!" poor thing.
Besides that little adventure we had a really good time! And even pushing through the snow wasn't so bad because at least I had the satisfaction that I was right. John would put Caity so she was facing me and she would just laugh like was going to catch her....we had so much fun enjoying nature and challenging eachother.
But snow: Good RIDDANCE!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

To my mom

Sometimes I feel like my meaning in life as a mom consists of cleaning the same rooms three times a day, "hog-tie"ing my daughter to the shopping cart in WalMart, reading the same page in the same book only to have Caity flip to the back of the book and ask me to start over. Sometimes it seems like I spend an hour on a meal only to have it strewn on the floor and devoured in less than five minutes, or I spend all afternoon stragically decorating our walls with pictures only to be accompanied by scribbles and stickers. Sometimes the purpose of being a mother feels monotonous and pointless.
Today I can't help but feel grateful for the blessings of being a mother. Among the distractions of a daily routine I know my purpose as a mother is divine. I know I hold a sacred duty to love and nurture. The moment I held Caity in my arms I knew what unconditional love truly is. For the first time in my life I really loved someone more than myself...I knew I would give anything for her. I knew she was a daughter of God and I didn't know what I did to recieve something so special.
Being a mother is feeling so incapable and then discovering extra strength deep down that you know was only provided by your Father in Heaven. It's sacrifice and selfishness, it's heartbreak and joy, its frustration and laughter. Being a mother is a journey to a higher ground and understanding of God's love.
So often I wish I was perfect -I wish I could give Caity everything.
I will forever be grateful for our "moments" together; when time seems to stop and she looks up at me. Something passes between us and I know she loves me and she knows I love her. I capture those moments in my mind forever.
Those moments I feel a connection to my own mom. I wonder if there are memories like these in her own mind. I wonder the love she felt for me. I think about the sacrifices she made for my happiness.
My mom is perfect. She is literally the most perfect woman I have ever met. The older I get and the longer I am a mom the more I understand the vastness of her love and dedication to my happiness. From sewing the sleeves on a homecoming dress minutes before my date arrived to staying up til 2 in the morning hearing every detail. From encouraging me to expand my talents and being the number one fan when I take her advice. There are moments upon moments I will always cherish, when I knew my mom was the woman I could become if I tried hard enough. She is my best friend and biggest example. I hope I can live up to the legacy she has left me. I love you, Mom.

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