Tuesday, July 8, 2014

All over the Place

When I look over the last six-plus years of marriage, I feel we have frequented the moving truck way too often

(or perhaps SHOULD have used a moving truck more often...haha) source

Here are all the places we have lived (for records sake):

September 2007-  Willis' Basement

December 2007- Vaulted Ceiling 1970 studio

April 2008- Park Place #8

December 2008- Heritage Homes of Rexburg (Master Bed and Bath)

September 2009- Peterson Pointe #2

August 2010- John's Parent's House

December 2010- Emerald West #3

March 2011- 133 E 2nd S, The Dungeon

August 2012- University of Idaho Student Housing

May 2013- Newcastle, WA Ghetto

August 2013- Back to University of Idaho Student Housing (John ACA)

May 2014- The Attic in Denver

August 2014- SOMEWHERE in Boise.

So, we are venturing on move number 13. Lucky number 13.
In 13 moves, there is something I have learned: I hate moving. Ha! Something else I have learned: I can still make it through and just because I hate it, doesn't mean it isn't going to happen.

I have learned to grasp the thrill of a move- there are some fun aspects of starting over. New scenery for one, no one remembers the embarrassing moments of yesteryear, I de-clutter and simplify, our family relies more on each other and we bond in a new way, there are new people, new experiences...a lot of great things to look forward to.

One of the hardest stages of moving is not knowing where we are going to be until just a couple weeks before.  If I can just imagine where we will be, I can make the best of whatever is ahead...but not knowing is the absolute worst.  The other hard part is saying good bye and resettling somewhere new. And not just to the people (which is hard), but to an entire way of life.  It comes to a point where I am constantly feeling like an outsider.  It gets exhausting starting all over.  The awkward first play-dates, walking into church trying to reach out and meet new people and convince them how interesting I am (haha), not knowing how to get anywhere and getting lost time and time again, trying to convince myself of all things this apartment has that is better than the previous, not to mention helping the kids adjust- that is a list of it's own ...it feels like my entire world is just flipped upside down and it is hard not to feel a little misplaced and out of context.

This move to Denver has been especially taxing because I know we are settling in only to be on our way out in two month's time.  It is so tempting just to live to survive instead of striving to thrive while we are here. It is tempting to walk into church and slip into the background, to walk up the stairs of my apartment and stop at surface conversations with neighbors, it is just so tempting to stick to myself and stay comfortable and count down my days. I have learned the hard way that giving into those temptations only brings...well, they bring nothing. We are not on this Earth to gain "nothing."

I don't believe that lifestyle is what God intended for his children as He sent us to this Earth together, not alone... but side by side; as neighbors, gym-buddies, coworkers, park-goers, mothers, family members, classmates...we are all here learning the "great lesson." We all have pains, sorrows, struggles, triumphs, regrets, gratitude and perspective, things that perplex us and things that keep us going.  Oh, what we can learn from each other. Oh, what I have learned from others.  It is hard for me to open up and let others in, because it is so hard saying good bye and once a door closes the contents behind it never seems to remain the same again.

I have found some of the biggest burdens in my life are missed opportunities.

So, my goal in this short time is to say "yes" more often and to take the hard road of opening up emotionally to the people and happenings around me.  In four short weeks I have met some pretty outstanding people and I have gained an understanding of perspectives that baffled me a month ago.  I have volunteered when every inside part of me (except perhaps the Holy Ghost...) screamed "no, don't do it."  I have yet to regret any opportunity I have taken to serve someone.  It has been work living in Denver, and it hasn't been a vacation from stress as I previously hoped- but it has been a growing experience.  Granted there is still a lot more I would like to do and be better at- but I am getting there, one day at a time...I'm learning!  I can honestly say we aren't here just because of John- though that is what I initially thought...but we're here for me too.  Turns out God is as mindful of me as He promises, and to Him I am forever grateful and indebted.

Well, that wasn't where I was going with this...but thank you for listening all the same. This blog has been a nice outlet for me as we have been going through this adventure.

What I was getting at is- we may have found a place in Boise! So hoping it works out.  I'm trying not to imagine myself living there but...gah! The idea of a fenced backyard sounds oh, so appealing! Not to mention one story...have been through this way to often! Wish us luck that it works out! Not to mention, I really, like REALLY, can't wait to move all our stuff again. :)

In other news...
Caity has taped fish to the doors of the house.  She also had "the best dream ever" that she was a mermaid
I cut Johnny's hair today and I accidently poked him and he said, "What, mom- are you trying to kill me?"
William has been Mr. Kisses lately.
John is still rockin' his suits at his job and I am so proud of him!
I have only 2.5 weeks left of Spring Term for school- hip hip hooray!

1 comment:

Whitney said...

Such a good post! I love hearing your perspective on things! Good job on the attitude! You can do hard things! Can't wait for your semester to be over and for you to move here!!

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