Tomorrow, William turns one. I have been feel really nostalgic today. It is just crazy to think this time a year ago he was still kickin' it inside me. It's funny, when I am in the first few months after a baby's birth, I am in survival mode, thinking that if I can just make it the next couple months it will get better. Now, a small part of me wants to go back to that time. My happiness was so simple. I had this baby and he was mine to hold and he brought such a special spirit in our home. The entire dynamics changed. Those first few months were special. The sleepless nights were hard sometimes. Guessing what he needed seemed impossible sometimes. Most times, though, I felt so content and confident that I needed Will in my life and he needed me.
With two kids at home that needed their dad, I spent most of my time alone in the hospital with William. It was a special bonding time for us. I remember being awake with him at 2:00 am, the hospital was quiet and we stared at each other by the glow of the dimmed hospital lights. In time, I told him about his brother and sister and dad and about all the adventures he had been apart of that summer. I told him how excited I was to bring him home and how much our family needed him and how wonderful this experience on Earth truly is. I told him my hopes that I could help him always remember that he was a child of a Heavenly Father, who loved him.
John and I can't talk about Wills without smiling, he just has that effect on us. So much has changed in a year, yet William remains a constant reminder of what a joyful life this was intended to be.