Thursday, June 16, 2016

Mondays, Picnics, and a Walker

I started this week with a bad case of the Mondays. The last few Mondays have been successful enough that I really thought I was past this nonsense, but Monday I woke up and it took about five minutes for me to realize this week's Monday would not come easy.  It is hard to put down exactly what made it so difficult. Perhaps it was that I left my house messy Sunday night? Perhaps I didn't get enough sleep? Perhaps it was because I didn't get a full Sunday service in because of sick kids? I don't know, but when I rolled out of the bed Monday morning, it was from the wrong side of it.  The kids were also in a weird funk and couldn't focus, complained, goofed around instead of getting their charts done, etc.  There was a lot of kids crying and mom snapping. Every step took a significant amount of effort. The temptation kept hitting me like waves: just quit for today. Go to the store, buy junk food, put the kids in front of the TV and try again tomorrow. But I didn't quit. I kept thinking things like, "If I just get this done, I'll get in the groove and it will all come easy..." or "Once we go to the park, we'll all click again..." but every time those markers came, it was still hard...but I kept on pushing through.  I pushed through the first library tantrum and after naps when we walked back, I pushed through the second. I pushed through the McDonalds temptation and made fajitas for dinner. I pushed through the justifiable 7:00pm bed time so we could have family night. I pushed through begging John to stay home from where he needed to go at night and pushed through all the kids coming out in turns needing something until they finally fell asleep at 10:00 pm. (10:00- really??) I woke up Tuesday and guess what? Still didn't want to do it. I kept telling myself  "Keep on Keeping." Now that I share it with you, I don't really know what it means but I guess for me in times where I think I can't take another step it means to keep on keeping up with the person I am trying to become because evenutally the weight I feel will be lifted and it will be so nice to be at a place that I can keep on keeping what I am doing and keep on keeping where I am heading- you know, keep on creating that light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't get to the end of the tunnel until Wednesday afternoon- and let me tell you, it was worth pushing through and keeping up, because the light felt that much brighter!
Wednesday afternoon was full of bike races and a picnic in their secret hide out behind the dumpster. Watching them play with neighbor kids takes me back to my own summer days as a girl- I relived that feeling for freedom and moment-enjoying sensation as I watched them from the deck reading my book.

In other news, this little guy is walking more than crawling now. This is the first time I have felt a sense of loss- oh my goodness! I won't get to see him crawl anymore! He's growing up so fast! I am excited for him, he's going to rock the toddling world.

1 comment:

shaylee jensen said...

this kills me. so stinkin cute! he's gonna be a heart breaker.

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