One Year Ago

One year ago, I was 40 weeks pregnant. 

July 5, 2015 was my due date for Matthew. 

I knew he wasn't coming any time soon, but goodness, was I ready! I was excited to meet him.  I was also excited to not be pregnant any more.  We experienced record breaking heat in Boise last summer and our home didn't have air conditioning. Not to mention, my stomach was measuring record breaking numbers for me. Matthew was a heavy baby! I was a basically uncomfortable and basically ready to get him out of my body and into my arms. 

I don't remember a lot of specific details about those first few days of his life. I do remember never wanting to put him down, like, ever. I would just hold him and hold him longer and squeeze him and love on his little rolls. He was the sweetest baby. We would sit by the hospital window and watch the Boise Broncos practice football. I would kiss his soft cheeks, pet his dark hair, and just stare at him and wonder how something so perfect could have grown inside of me.

 I prayed. A lot. I prayed out of gratitude, and I prayed for comfort, for guidance, for forgiveness, for understanding, for direction, for power to help this boy become what God needed him to be. I prayed that he would know how much our family needed him and know that he was loved so much. 

We had a lot of visitors in the hospital this time around. Everyone was so excited to meet Matthew, and I felt so grateful for the village this little guy had. I feel all that love expressed those first few days of his life implanted in his little heart as he is one of the most loving little boys.  He is happy to see everyone giving giggles and hugs freely and the world is his playground in which laughs as he explores.  

Matthew, a year ago I was ready for you to make your entrance into the world, but I had no idea the impact you would have on mine.  You have taught me to trust God entirely. You helped me straighten my priorities before God. You have given our family a whole new dimension of what joy means. 

It is bizarre how much changes in a year.

I found these pictures from when Matthew about a week old. We took them for John's mom's birthday before church. I thought it would be fun to see how we all looked at that time.

And an updated picture of that boy from this morning!