Things Johnny Says

Johnny-isms from this week that made me smile:
Me: Johnny, you're cool.
Johnny: Thanks, but not as cool as a ninja.

Johnny: When I'm a dad, I'm going to say yes to everything- that's gonna make me the best dad ever, right? Except no running away. That's my only rule.
Me: What if your kids get sick from too much candy?
Johnny: hmmm, so yeah- I'll say yes to one piece of candy a day and if they ask again, I'll just walk away so I won't say no. Yeah so no running away, and no candy all day......oh! and no biting! But they come jump on my bed all they want and watch shows all day. I'm going to be the best dad.

The other night I was up doing homework and he came in around 10:30 pm with blood shot eyes and sat staring at me.
Me: Johnny, it's still night time, you need to go back to bed, buddy.
Johnny: Then when am I supposed to find bugs to eat? Bats hunt at night.
Then he fell asleep on the couch.

An Interview:

What is your name?

Johnny. Calhoun. FIVE. Not three or four, that's dad and grandpa.  And two is GREAT grandpa in Dember (Denver) and one is dead. But I meant him when I was a cute little baby.

How old are you?

Four. (Holds out four fingers.) and a half, but I don't have a finger for that.

What color is your hair?

Brownish/Yellowish.

What color are your eyes?

Blue.

What is your favorite food?

ice-cream. HAHAHAHA.

Like, Popcorn with peanut butter, and hmmmm, no nothing. 
(sometimes I drizzle melted butter over popcorn, maybe this was what he was talking about?)

What is your favorite song?

Glory to the Newborn King

What is your favorite treat?

So mom, those snowflake things? Oh yeah, rice crispy treats.

What is your favorite color?

blue

What is your favorite animal?

police dog

What is your favorite book?

hhhmmm, I'm trying to think, cause I like every book. Are you going to ask my favorite movie? OK...hmmmm, I already told you, ummm...every book...but the one I'm going to say is the Jesus book, um, I'll show you. (runs to room) I can't find it. OK, forget the Jesus, Spiderman. And the one I got from Grandpa Brassell with lots of super heroes? And Caity's chapter books like Inside Out.

What is your favorite store?

Toys R Us. WalMart, cause it gots toys and its fun. The other one is Old McDonalds.

What do you like to do with Daddy?

Play with him. So like, in the morning when he's like throwing us on the bed? That's my favorite thing to do with him.

What do you like to do with Mommy?

Cuddle with her. 

What is your favorite movie?

The Cat in the Hat. Inisde Out. Scooby Dooby Doo and that will be all.

What is your favorite TV show?

Watching police dogs on youtube with my Dad.

Who are your friends?

All of the kids at church, and like, there was a kid at the park that we are friends too. And the other one he's like four and he's really fun. And we're friends.

What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Play. Play football. So like, that game where you kick with your feet. Yeah, soccer- like at Boise, when we were playing soccer, Caity and me?

What is your favorite thing to play inside?

Dinosaurs, cars and superheroes.

"Saten wus a Profet"

Well.

The night of Caity's birthday, John was on the bed doing homework while I was exercising on the elliptical (trying not to talk to myself since he was there and that would be ultra embarrassing to get caught in my weirdness. What? I'm a think outloud sort of girl sometimes.)  Anyway, there we are, minding our own business(es) when in walks our sweet little SIX year old.  She was insistent on wearing her cupcake dress with the blouse underneath to bed.  She looked so sweet and angelic as she brought us what I already knew was a thoughtful thank you note telling us what wonderful parents we were and how great her birthday was. Without looking, I said, "Thank you, sweetie- good night!" And off she went.  About ten minutes later, I am thinking about that Caity girl of mine and remember the sweet note waiting for me at the end of my bed.

I pick up and this is what I see:

"The Book of SATEN"

Two sad people, then

"MOM" and "DAD"

...

...

...

WHA-AT??

You better believe as soon as the shock wore off I was laughing hysterically...I mean, it was a little disturbing, but also a little hilarious.  

Every so often I really despise myself for not having a camera on me- this is exactly how I felt when I saw John's face expression after seeing her note. I mean, I am laughing writing this, people- he was that thrown off.

As the laughter died down, we were still a little disturbed...so, we read on:

(I'll translate for you.)

"Satan was a Prophet"

"First, he was bad. Until he was swallowed by a whale."

...

Oooooooh!

She confused Jonah with Satan! Ha!

I mean, it's understandable...I confuse people all the time with Satan...except I don't. Haha. Well, I know what we are learning about tomorrow! :)

 We read on...

 "Then he started to pray."

"When he prayed he was forgiven for the tepl (temple?). He was saved."

"The End."

Haha!

Oh my deary me...

I love kids.

Especially that kid.

I asked her tonight what the picture on the cover was.

It was Jesus and Heavenly Father sad looking down on Earth where "Jonah" was pushing a girl and another girl was helping her. (Yeah, we are definitely learning about Jonah tomorrow)

I love when this girl writes me stories, it is a direct shot into what is going on in her mind.

Today she wore stick on earrings to school when I picked her up she said, "No one could see them under my hair, but that's OK, because I knew in my heart they were there." 

Alright, I should end it here before I ramble on and on and on and well, you know how I am. :)

"Bugs are People Too"

"They are just little people trying to take care of their families and they actually have to work for their food mom, they don't just open a fridge and have food there."  Caity clearly underestimates how food gets to her table. "How would you feel if someone killed you and then I was just alone waiting for you to come home with crumbs...or like...a piece or garbage?"
It took about five minutes of debating with Caity for me to realize that I was arguing with a 5 year old about whether or not bugs were indeed people, I realized I needed to be the bigger person and walk away.  Then I ignored that realization and shouted, "Oh my gosh, Caity! The bug is on you!"  She shrieked and said, "What you are waiting for? Get the fly swatter! Get it! Get it!" I guess we all can be swayed. And I guess all bugs can be swatted.

Today Caity said, "I am just having a hard time because it is my last day being 5. Don't worry though, because I'm still your child- so that's good."

John and I found an elliptical on Craigslist yesterday. Today I introduced myself to it and decided the two of us will be great friends despite the fact it has made my bed room considerably smaller. Johnny came running in and said, "Mom! I never seen you practicizing before! You're good!" It made me smile. Then I bribed him with play dough so I could finish my work out...and that says a lot because what I feel about play dough is in the ballpark of how I feel about say, mosquitoes or when a bird poops on my shirt.  No, that hasn't happened but I imagine I would feel the same annoyance cleaning that shirt as I do cleaning up play dough from my carpet. Play dough- why must you exist?  Oh yeah, so I could finish my "practicizing" today!

 (Don't tell me he could fall off that thing, if he stands up...I already learned that...the hard way.)

William has learned the art of Peek-a-Boo, and it is awesome.His chubby little hands awkwardly cover only part of his eyes and when he pulls them away it is like he surprised himself- like, "What? I'm here? Would ya look at that!"  What a cute and perfectly talented, beautiful baby he is- and that is coming from an unbiased mother, here. ;)  He is walking more these days and talking a whole slew of babble throughout the day...I am lovin' it.  He also has figured out what brushes and combs are for and awkwardly tries to use them accordingly, it is cute.  I sat him in the sink while I did Cate's hair and he leaned over with the brush and was my personal assistant! The kids were in a fit of giggles over the whole thing.

My mom came in town this weekend, and boy, did we have a good time!  It is a party when she comes into town.  I loved our late night talks and just spending time together.   She brought up John, Caity and William's birthday presents and I must say- she out did herself.  She even brought something for Johnny.  She just has a way of bringing excitement with her and everyone seems to be in a better mood and I just love how special she makes my kids feel.

Playing in Caity's room.  They were playing with dolls then Johnny ran back to his room to grab "His Guys" and when he came back, Caity and Grandma suggested they have a dance.  Well, different super heroes were paired with different Disney princesses, and then Johnny pulled out his Hulk and Spiderman and said, "What about my BIG daddy guys!?"  Caity pulled out her Barbies, which solved the problem for a little bit- but then- you know- Johnny realized they were NAKED!  "EW- they're naked! My guys don't dance with nakeds!" He hid Spiderman and Hulk behind the dresser until Caity had her Barbies clothed to his satisfaction. Censorship at its finest, people.

After a long day, all we could do was veg out on my super-NOT-comfortable couches (that may or may not have busted completely to the floor when the bishopric came to visit last week...awkward.) William kept walking from me to Grandma.

Opening presents.

For Caity, she made a quilt and bedding for her room (she has been begging for a "pink room"-I'll post pictures later.) It was awesome. She also got one of those bracelet looms with the rubber bands? That was pretty cool.

For William, she made a vintage toy quilt, that was so, so cute- William loved it and rolled around it over and over again.

John got some drill bits which prompted him to immediately go out and reorganize his garage! She knows him so well- haha.

The kids and I went to Walmart today.  After Johnny punching Caity until she would listen to his story, and Caity screaming in the awesome whiney voice she can get the whole time that Johnny was "Punching her again and again and again..." and me pulling over and slapping both of their feet in a really lovingly-there-is-beauty-all-around-when-there's-love-at-home sort of way...I knew we weren't going to make it.  So we said a prayer. And let me just say, God is aware and answers even the littlest most insignificant, desperate prayers, even in the WalMart parking lot. We made it, we got everything on our list and we were all friends after.  It has been a pleasant afternoon, and for that, I am grateful.

Tonight I have to settle once and for all the pile of laundry on my bed.  I also have to decorate for a "Rainbow Birthday," not to mention finish painting (or maybe watch John finishing painting- ha ha) the D-E-S-K Caity is getting for her B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y....she has no idea! :) I am excited!

7/11: That's Just How We Roll!

The kids said their favorite part of the day was getting "Suh-werpies" from 7-11.

Of course, I can thank Dad for that one. As soon as he came home he took us on a "surprise walk."  The mystery was killing us, but was well worth the wait. That John is always full of surprises! 

John always pays special attention that Wills gets in on the action.  I am pretty sure William felt immediate gratitude. :)

 Johnny and Cate were so into it, they had trouble keeping up with us. I kept having to stop for Johnny, after the third time he said, "You always wait for me, Mom."  For whatever reason that melted my heart made my day. I thought it was sweet. I'm not a huge Slurpie fan, but I got the Sprite flavor and it was pretty good- slightly reminded me of my nausea days of pregnancy, but tasty all the same.

Today I overheard Caity and Johnny having a conversation in the back of the van. It went like this:

Johnny: Caity talk to me about that food what you don't like.

Caity: I hate beans.

Johnny: Really, why?

Caity: Just because they have no flavor and they are just yucky.

Johnny: Oh. OK. Soooo, tell me about your seat-belt.

Caity: What do you want to know about my seat-belt?

Johnny: Do you like it, or do you hate it?

Caity: Like it. It keeps me safe. 

Johnny: Oh. I hate my seat-belt.

Caity: I used to hate my seat belt when I was a three year old too.

I know, I know, I am the only person who finds this conversation worth reading...and then re-reading.  I just love their little conversations they have with each other.  It's like they this relationship completely separate of me or anyone else, and I think it is so cool.

 Caity and I just started reading Pollyanna.  I've seen the movie, but haven't read the book. Loved the movie, and so far I am not really loving the book- but I do like the time I get to spend with Caity and I think the message is a good one- about looking on the bright side of things.  It gives us something new to talk about which is fun.

 Johnny bit William yesterday.  I entered the room and William was screaming and Johnny was hiding under a blanket peeking out.  I asked what happened. And all Johnny said was "He was just SO cute."  He then slithered under the covers again. I was so confused and looked over William.  It was then I found the teeth marks embedded on his arm. I got it: William was just SO cute that Johnny just HAD to bite him. Oh dear me. What am I going to do with that boy.  As I type this they are giggling together in their room while Caity is asleep. Boys.

Today I did Caity's hair in a ballerina bun.  She said, "Mom, you don't do like anyone else, but you do it the best!" haha. It made me laugh.  William soon saw it as a desired target though, and despite hairspray's best efforts, this girl's hair was in her eyes all day! That William.

The kids were marching around the house attached to each other saying "Choo choo, here comes the baby train!"  Will just laughed and would clap his hands when Johnny wasn't tugging too hard on his little arms. These days are busy and sometimes stressful, but definitely worth it.

(Don't you love that Raphael is hitching a ride on the Hulk?  Spiderman is teaching preschool today...)

Fleeting Things the Kids Do and Say

While riding his bike over the cross walk, Johnny turned to the Cadillac blaring rap music and hollered, "Cool music, guys!"

If there is ever a bug flying in their space Cate and Johnny shout, "Shoot! Shoot! Get away BUG! Shoot!"

Whenever I ask Johnny to do something for me, he salutes me and says, "Yes, SIR!" and marches on his merry way.

Caity's brain apparently doesn't wake up until "noon."  So I lied to her and told her it was noon, when really it was nine in the morning.  She was pretty upset with me and said, "Now how is my brain supposed to make it until bedtime."

Lately Caity is "Just not up for that right now," quite often. I hear ya' sister.

Johnny has been drawing pictures and showing it too and saying "It says, 'I'll love you forever, mom and I'll never forget you in the whole universe."

When William is tired, he buries his face into his blankteria.

After years of cooking for this family, I finally have someone who loves food. Johnny. Every meal he will look at me and say, "Mom, this is the most delicious food everrrrrr!" Sometimes I don't make the most delicious food ever. And he will look down at his lap and say, "This isn't yummy in my tummy, Mom. Sorry, but I just can't eat  this."  If I ask him if he needs help and spoon feed him, he usually will change his mind and tell me it is delicious

.

When I feed William his meals, he'll take a bite and angle his head so his ear is touching his shoulder- then I'll copy him. He'll smile all big and do it to the other side.  It is our little game.

Today I played "Go Fish" and UNO with the kids.  Johnny was pretty upset in UNO when he ran out of cards first.  We tried to explain that he won, but he just said, "I don't care. I want my cards back." Caity gave him her cards and said, "Well, looks like I won this game too."

Whenever Johnny catches William looking at him, he scrunches up his face and says all growly, "Are you lookin at me? You crazy little baby chunker man pooper!"

When we push William on the swing he kicks his legs alternating left and right.  When we push him in the stroller, he rests his hands over the tray and looks stoically forward...like a boss.

As soon as we turn the corner to our house, we tell the kids they can run down the alley.  They get so excited and run as fast as they can, pushing each other as they run.  OK, maybe just Johnny pushes.

If Caity has to interrupt what she is doing to ask me a question, I can 100% guarantee Johnny will follow suit, just so he won't be left out.  Yesterday, after bedtime, Caity opened the door and asked "Mom, do the ants outside really bite? I'm really nervous about it."  I told her no. Seconds later, Johnny opens the door smiling.  What, Johnny? "Ummm, umm. um.... So, do you like it when you see balloons at the store?"  Yes Johnny.  "OK, thanks, good night Mom."