Subtly Perfect

Last night after my run, I laid down on the grass and watched stars appear one by one across the summer sky. I was listening to It is Well, by Kristene Dimarco. There were a couple of little-big things that were overwhelming my heart.  As I laid there mulling things over, a couple of lines spoke to me: "through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you and it is well...with me." then, "so let go, my soul, and trust in him, the waves and wind, still know his name (repeat) and it is well." I slowly felt my spirit expand and take in the full reality of how loved, protected, and blessed I am. The goodness and greatness of my Heavenly Father put into better perspective the genuine, but not eternally significant, worries that threatened my peace. I breathed in His spirit and for a lasting moment saw myself in a true sense, and felt the beauty of my life right now as His daughter. I saw God's hand in my life and I felt His love. My stresses were still present, but it was well. I went to sleep feeling peace and companionship.

There was something subtly perfect about this morning. After last night, I woke up particularly mindful to the little things.  John and I were able to spend time together this morning before work. I made him eggs and we talked about everything that was ahead for us that day.  Then Johnny made his way downstairs with his sleepy morning smile and comic book wedged under his arm. We knelt and John said a morning prayer with us before he left for work. I made Johnny three eggs, each cooked different ways (he was in heaven.) Matthew soon joined Johnny, and taunted him with little-brother-adoration. The two early-birds washed their hands (and feet, because when you sit on the counter...) and watched me make the first recipe ten year old Mary ever copied into her homemade cookbook: Blueberry Breakfast Bars. We talked quietly while they taste-tested and helped me fold in blueberries. It was pretty tender.
William sauntered down next and requested his eggs scrambled with a side of syrup. Matthew looked up at William, then up at me, and also requested scrambled eggs with a side of syrup, because everything William does, Matthew must also do.  Caity was still cozy upstairs power-reading through the third Harry Potter book. After the boys finished breakfast, we all sat on the couch and read stories together. I then sent them upstairs to get dressed and pick up their rooms, just in time for Caity to come downstairs and proudly say, "Finished!" Her and I had a lot to talk about as I fried her egg and buttered her toast. The Harry Potter talk continued as we cleaned the kitchen together, taking small intermissions when Johnny came in (so not to spoil anything for him.) It was fun talking about different elements of the book together.
When the blueberry bars were done, we sat around the table eating together and laughing about silly memories from when they were each babies.

The day continued into average moments: forts, fights, legos, sneaking out of naps, watermelon, running outside, lunch, back-talking, cuddling, wrestling, throwing watermelon, book reading, whining, washing walls, climbing up newly cleaned walls with peanut butter hands, chalk art, coloring fortune tellers, flooding bathrooms and so on.
And right when I felt like I couldn't go minute longer, those children of mine turned into complete angels. We worked together to clean the house. As I made Venezuelan Arepas to surprise John, they set the table, then all read quietly in the living room (yes- that like really happened- it was bliss.) After dinner we all sat in the living room hanging out, and Caity corralled us into singing some of her favorite church songs and though it sounds cheesy, it warmed my heart. I felt so much love and gratitude to be a wife and mother, and to know Heavenly Father loved me. I'm grateful for the peace He gives me.