The worst of times make the best of times

I don't even know where to start. I can't beleive it was only two weeks ago I was waddling with a swollen belly awaiting the arrival of the little man. It feels like years. Though friends still tell me he looks like a fresh newborn, I can't help but think how much the little guy has grown. And though friends tell me how big Caity is getting I can't help but think how little and precious she is.

These last few weeks have been full of so many mini obstacles and trials, emotional days, painful days, hormonally snappy to my family days, sleep deprived days, messy house-dirty hair-everyone in pajamas watching movies all day- days...Days where I have wondered where God was, if he was listening to me. Days where I wondered if I had what it took to be a mother. Days I found myself questioning if I had enough faith. And dare I go into the nights? As Johnny's arrival drew closer, I felt prepared to meet the challenges I had when Caity was born, but of course a new set of weaknesses have surfaced with the new delivery, and a new set of frustrations and well...I guess new self-discovery.

Although I felt challenged in a way I hope to never be again, and would never relive some of the moments of the last few days; I couldn't be more grateful.

On those days of unexplainable, uncontrollable emotion

I am so grateful

for my husband's hugs. Sometimes just being held

makes everything better.

On the days of snapping at my family

I am so grateful

for Caity laughing at me...even if it did make more upset

at the time.

I am grateful when I told her to leave me alone and to go away she would counter in a very serious voice, "No, Mommy....Taity wants to cuddle. Mommy wants Hugs."

I am grateful

for the days when I questioned if God cared

for a little boy that looked at me with heaven's eyes

and told me, "Yes, he is listening."

I am grateful for this new addition.

He has been our little breath of heaven.

Although everything seems it should add up to a terrible week, I just can't help but be so happy. Why? Because this is where I am supposed to be. I know that. I am so happy to be a mother. I am so happy to be a wife. There are some things I have gained a greater testamony of these last two weeks. First, marriage is between a husband and wife, it is eternal and real. We are here for a reason, I know the plan of salvation is the plan of happiness and joy. I know the priesthood is a real authority to act in God's name. I am so grateful my husband has the priesthood. I know God answers prayers, sometimes when we are in the heat of the moment it is hard to see, but I am so grateful for His timing and trusting me to endure through trials so I can be better. I know families are forever and I am so grateful for mine. They are my joy. I know the scriptures are the words of God and that through reading them our faith can grow. Christ lives. He is my Savior. I know the atonement is real. I hope I can be the mother these little angels need. I hope I can be half the mother I had. What a wonderful time to be alive! I know as we follow God's council and the promptings of the spirit we can find true happiness. I know God is our Father. I am so happy to know these things.

I am so happy:

to be in love

to have a little girl who's laugh makes me laugh

a little boy who snuggles into my neck when he is ready to sleep

that I married my best friend...and better yet, that he is so cute!

I am just so happy dreams really do come true.

One more...

So I couldn't finish off today withou this last picture...Caity's first people!! I know it could be annoying to hear (or read, I guess) me gush about my amazingly talented daughter...but really... I just think it is SO COOL that she drew a picture of our family! It is just a really cool milestone for me. And I don't know, maybe it is like old news for a two year old to draw people, but I don't care- my daughter's an artistic genius. This is my blog and I can say so if I want.

(Daddy is the tall one...caity is one to the left, and one more to the left is mommy, and that scribble in the upper left is johnny. And Ezra is to the right of Daddy.)

Special Shout out to the Johnsons for making this super cool chalktivity table...probably my favorite thing in Caity's room...Thanks Lincoln!

Well, I will soon be accepting orders for portraits...until then...good night and good riddance (don't even know how to spell riddance...)

2-2-2011

Today and Last night

Caity, the photographer: "Ok, Barbie- say cheese! Oh SOO preety!"

Me and my lovely little ones...not the loveliest hair day, but I just loved this moment

Is anything more precious than a sleeping baby?



Love her.

I got an amazing wife!!

To Mary, and all those other crazy moms out there, from John and everyone of your husbands,

You spending the majoirty of the night, while I lay alseep, feeding the baby every hour. You are crawling back and forth in and out of bed, only to crawl back into bed at 6 am to be awaken by the 45 minutes later by the door being thrown open and a high pitch sound yelling "Caity's awake!" Not only do you get out of bed, you tell her how excited you are to see her and sit down on the floor to color, play break the ice, elfefun, or whatever she wants, only breaking to return to the rocking chair and feed the little man. You make her breakfast, feed the baby,wash clothes, feed the baby, take them to the library, feed the baby, and somehow have the house spotless when I return to you feeding the baby. Somehow you are still excited to be alive and even smile when you see me, knowing deep inside that within the next couple hours you could be anywhere, doing anything from digging a car out of the snow, to driving to Boise to get a truck. haha. You are amazing. I tell you all the time, your only job in this house is to love me, but you never listen.

1-31-2010

Well, all is well in Brassell land. The rascal is back (she spent a week at Grandma Brassell's) and our house is full of life once again. Man, we missed her. However, I am concerned at all the "help" I am receiving from little miss second-mama. Poor Johnny- Caity is seriously ALWAYS in his face! As soon as he falls asleep "WAKE UP BABY JOHNNY!! ITS NOT NIGHT TIME YET! OK?" It is cute though. Being a mom of two has had its definate ups and definate downs but all in all I couldn't be happier and more grateful for my favorite boy under 25 and my favorite girl.
Now...enough of cheezy
Today's picture:

For FHE we went sledding! Caity of course loved it...I of course kept my sore hiney on the sidelines with the camera...I love how funny kids looked bundled up! Love this picture.



Yes, this is John carrying Caity up the hill by her coveralls...I wish I could have gotten a better picture.


Johnnyboy...so handsome! ( In a lifeless blobish no face expressions kind of way.)


Caity wanted to read stories to Baby Johnny...I think Johnny is looking at Caity thinking, "Caity why you smiling so weird?" Or he is just looking off into space.


Well, hope your days are as enjoyable or more so since I was pooped on TWICE today...I hope your days hold more promise than that bowel malfunction.

Happy Monday! Goodbye January and hello month of LOVE!

And now Announcing...

John Calhoun Brassell V

was born

January 21st 2011 at 8:37pm

8 pds. 7 oz.

22 inches long

Before...(only took me 9 mo to get on of these up)

.....After!!! (happily ever after!)

The Little Man...

Caity and Johnny 5

We are all so excited he is finally here! Baby and Mom are both healthy and doing well. Yay for our new addition!

1-17 and today!

It has been a good couple of days. I went to the Doctor's on Monday- don't even worry I was there for 2 hours and 17 minutes...all for a 2 minute talk with doc. It was pretty busy. John had to work so I braved the office with Caity - of course it is the one time we are there for ever! And Of course the doctor walks in right after Caity has lodged her head between the poles of a table....I didn't dare get down and help her on account of I was pantsless, so I just pulled her hair trying to tug her out until the nurse helped me- redneck much?.....I should have brought my camera to my appointment, then you would have gotten a better taste of my day.

The good news is we have a deadline which has actually been pretty comforting. If I don't go into labor I will be induced Friday at 7:30am. January 21st, 2011- that is going to be my baby boy's birthday! Kind of exciting...I have calmed down quite a bit about the list of things outside my control....I have come to the conclusion that if I go into labor, I do- and that is great. If not, then I will be induced, which could be the kick start my body needs...if Johnny 5 pulls a Caity and decides not cause any dialation and I don't progress while in labor- there is nothing I can do about and will have to get a C-section. End of story. I guess I am just coming to terms with facts and I am just grateful I live in a time that no matter what the baby will come out, and chances of tradegy are fairly slim. Thank you modern medicine. (Special shout out to Mr. Epideral.)

1-17-2010... I opened the door to check in on Caity and totally found her rolled out of her bed, completely knocked out...love it.



1-18-2010. Caity and Ezra again. They come running out of Caity's room where these letter blocks acting like robots or something. They are so weird. But so cool. Because their moms are so cool too.


PS- you have to admit it...I have totally been on a blogging roll lately...