Matthew Does Preschool

Today I drove up to Miss Jenna's Preschool, I parked my car, and headed to the pick up door. As I walked the sidewalk, I spied through fence cracks, the side door open and a little body bound down the stairs toward me. As he turned the corner, imagine my surprise when it wasn't William, but it was Matthew. But, of course. William is now in full day kindergarten and it was Matthew, my baby, I was picking up from preschool. My breath caught in my throat. With the hectic nature of a new school year I suppose I didn't recognize the passing of time. As if in a tornado of thought, my mind danced around flashes of holding Caity's hand after her first day of preschool: "I was so nervous mom, but then I just smiled like you said and I felt I could do ANYTHING." Then Johnny, "My teacher has my favorite hair, I am bringing her a flower next time, is that allowed?" Then William, "Why did you leave!? I was nawrvous. Do I have to come back next time? Yes, I think you should. Good. Me too."

2012

(I couldn't find her first day picture, but I know this was taken after we got home)

2015

2018

2019

All this while in real time I squished Matthew's soft hand and while he chattered, "Me and Rory were the only boys, and mom don't step on the crack! OW! My back is killin now! Are you excited it's just the two of us now? Can I have lunch in the car?" I took a knee and breathed in his cute cheeks (that deceived me into thinking he was still a baby), and his big mischievous, eager eyes and I said, "I missed you!" Then he gave me a squeeze around my neck, pressing his cheek to mine and saying "Your the best queen ever, queen." (Side note/blog for another day: Matthew calls me Queen now and says I'll be his Queen forever and it melts my heart.every.single.time.)

Can we take a minute to appreciate that little chin!?

Then I buckled him in his seat, and cried the whole way home. I let myself feel the joy of my kids growing and experiencing new things, the pain of time I can't borrow back, the gratitude of God's hand in the journey, the worry of the struggles ahead of them as they mature, the ache of nostalgia, and the resolution to stay mindful in the sacredness of daily moments.

I looked in my rearview mirror as Matthew dumped his entire lunch contents out in our newly vacuumed car and that changed the mood pretty quick. There was no more time for moping, I still had work to do!

He had a great first day of Preschool and commandeered the rest of my day with books and legos. Tough life. ;)