It's 9:15 pm, and John just started his hour commute home. Whew. It's been a long day week two weeks. He was in Washington DC last week and has been working 15+ hour days this week. And they have been emotionally loooong days, where he comes home completely drained and as he tells me the light overview of what he faces: I'm amazed at how well he handles it. It usually makes my "long days" seem quite pleasant and cheery, if I'm being honest.
I hope you know I'm not complaining when I say I'm tired and "at my end." I fully recognize I have a lot to be grateful for, but tonight was definitely a one-foot-in-front-of-the-other sort of evening. (I'm a light weight.) As I sat zoning out in my room earlier, I thought, "Mary, get it together and end the night strong. " so I (literally) threw my phone across the room, walked to Caity's room, and sat on Matthew's bed so Caity could unload her mind. She talked and talked and talked. I heard about her life questions, moments of shame and misunderstanding, her self doubts, and her desire to be more accepting of herself. As she talked I watched her countenance lighten, I just thought "she is so beautiful." It was a good thirty minutes of Matthew coming in periodically to crawl all over me, and Johnny popping in to tell his two cents and empathize with Caity over tough elementary school stuff. It was sweet, then again; was likely just a tactic to avoid cleaning his room- haha.
When everything was finally said, I tucked Caity and Matthew in, said prayers with them, and then went down stairs to carry sleeping William up to his bed. The moment I picked him up, he nuzzled his face into my neck the same way he did when he was a baby. This completely broke me. I was exhausted and grateful. The whole spectrum of emotions washed over me as tears trickled their way down my cheek. William's face nuzzled in that way brought that newborn-mom-love to the surface and I felt the magnitude of my blessings in that moment. I tucked him in bed, and found Johnny reading The Friend magazine, he pulled away long enough to give me a good night side hug. I'm glad I threw my phone and was able to get those precious moments with my kids in before the day ended. Maybe long, never-ending days are good because they give more chances to refocus and recenter the day before it's over.
1 comment:
Good thinking on throwing your phone! That's awesome that you chose to be in the moment with your kids and what a great memory you created by choosing so! Life is Good :)
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